Thinking Back

It was a rainy day at America's place then…

"What ever you say Iggy what EVER you say..... Now I am going to watch horror films. You can watch too and I will cling to you when you get scared you know." America joked as he teased England about their latest nonsense argument, trying to hide his blush about being the one who would really be scared.

"I NEVER DID ANYTHING LIKE THAT... AND WHY THE HELL WOULD I WANT YOU TO CLING TO ME?" England yelled, annoyed at his former colony's antics. It was always one thing or another… "Watch the damn films by yourself."

"Awww... But Iggy!!!!!!" America half whined as he grabbed onto England. "I want to cuddle while the cheerleader tries to beat the jock to getting killed first by the axe murdererrrr."

"I have paper work to do anyway for my bo--…" England started to say but got cut off when America grasped his arm. "GET OFF OF ME YOU TWIT!!! I told you I don't want to see a movie about your damn American stereotypes. So bugger off!!!" The elder country shook his arm violently trying to get America to let go.

"Aww but Artie, it even has one of those sexy British actors of yours in it, and we can even eat popcorn while watching it.... although I better be the one to cook it. We don't want the kitchen exploding again now do we?" America continued his begging, tugging on England's arm a bit.

England couldn't help but sigh exasperatedly at that snide little remark. "Shut up about my fucking cooking. You eat some pretty nasty crap too. But I can't watch your movie anyway. LIKE I SAID I have paperwork to do, and as much as I would want it to, it's not going to do its self." After this explanation he huffed and continued to try to break away.

"Call your boss, I'm sure he will give you the day off, and my hamburgers are not crap, they are just plain AWESOME. Seriously we should go eat them whenever you get the chance! Like at Burger King!" America yelled enthusiastically, proceeding to hug England and pull him onto couch while simultaneously grabbing the remote and turning on the TV. "Now sit there and watch with me okay?"

"I am not going to eat a hamburger you ballistic oaf." England was quickly getting more annoyed by each second he spent on the couch. "And I will not, I know this movie is going to be horrible!" England half yelled as he struggled to get free of the bloody git's grasp.

"Oh come on, I know you'll like it, at least eat the fries, those things ROCK, and you can't NOT try the onion rings, those things are like little halos. Now stop squirming.... I can't see the TV over your head Iggy." America complained as he pulled England into his lap.

"They do not and..." England began but was cut off when he found himself in America's lap, his face flushing to a light pink. "GET ME OUT OF YOUR LAP!"

"OH Iggy, calm down a bit, plus it's comfy like this." America smiled dumbly, and then wrapped his arms around England's waist from behind. "Now shhh.... the movie is starting."

"Shut up and fucking let go of me!" England yelled as he still continued to struggle, but soon realized America wasn't going to let go anytime soon, and turned a vibrant red. "W..whatever. Not like I'm going to actually watch the damn movie anyway." England mumbled.

"I knew you would see the ways of the Hero eventually Artie." America said smiling brightly, until he saw the killer in the movie murder an unsuspecting bystander. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" He screamed as he hid his head behind England's back.

"Just shut up!" England mumbled, and then noticed America hiding his head. "America... Don't worry...it's just a movie.." England said, a little concerned as he twisted around to comfort him.

"Wh-what are you t-talking about Iggy I am the HERO! I don't get scared." America said bravely, even though he was visibly beginning to shake, and any remaining part of his fake bravery was lost as he buried his face against England's chest when saw blood splatter inside the television screen.

This caused England's attitude to soften a bit more. "Even heroes get scared you bloody moron." England told his former colony as he soothingly began to stroke America's hair, face lighting up as he pretended just for a second it was like it used to be...

"I-I know but... but I'm not scared." America protested, but it was easily noticeable in voice that that wasn't true at all, he couldn't even convince himself, yet somehow, he was calmed slightly as he felt Arthur's fingers in his hair.

"Mhmm. That's what you have always said." Arthur said lowly as he continued brushing his fingers through America's messy head. "It'd be some story or another about the animals and then your lip would quiver as if you were about to cry." he continued with a fond smile. "You're such an idiot America."

"St-stop making it sound like I am a wimp Iggy!" America protested, blushing a bit as he remembered crying over the story of the bear attacking the poor little bunny. "I can't help that I care for animals so much..."

"Ahahaha, But you are a wimp!" England laughed teasingly. "I can't forget that time you were all scared to go to sleep because I told you an evil spirit was lurking beneath your bed!"

"ARTHUR!!!!!!!!!" America screamed so embarrassed that his voiced squeaked a little. "I really don't want to remember that.... and it was there ya know, when I was dreaming he would say he was going to do perverted things to me...."

This cause England to laugh louder and harder. "It's not so nice when the tables are turned huh?" He asked while grinning widely. "Oh and how about when you ran to me screaming because you thought the aliens were going to kill you when there was a piece of paper stuck to your back!"

"THAT WAS BEFORE I MET TONY!!!!!! I thought aliens were evil back then." America mumbled his face turning redder from embarrassment, then realized what England had said. "You think the tables are turned on me huh?" He smirked as he turned England around and pinned him to the back of the couch. "Now who has the table turned on them?"

"What are you doing now America?" England asked coldly and suspiciously, as the laughter died in his throat.

"Showing you that I, the Hero, never admit defeat. Not even to you, Iggy." America said, and then he proceeded to kiss England without any sign or warning.

England struggled at first, his eyes widening, then... he slowly began kissing back, being fully absorbed in the moment... then pulled away, suddenly scared. "I see what you're trying to do America! I see!" He yelled as he pushed America back. "Is this some sort of sick way of taunting me? Huh?"

"Huh? Taunting you? What are you talking about Iggy?" America, still blushing, looked at England in confusion.

"T--this whole thing was set up wasn't it?" England asked as his eyes began to fill with tears. "It was set up to make me think everything's ok and that you can do what you want with me! You already proved you didn't want me Alfred. I don't have the strength to hear it again." He began sniffling softly as he pulled off the couch. "I have damn paperwork to do anyway..."

"Ar-Arthur, this wasn't a ploy, I would never do that." America protested and grabbed onto England's arm and pulled him back, hugging him closely. "I.. I'm sorry I made you cry Arthur, but... but I really do care for you." He said as he also started tearing up.

"Y...you're crying..." England said as he saw this rare occasion, it immediately caused him to remember so much...

"Now now! Heroes don't cry now do they?"

"I want to be as big as you Arthur!" "Oh really now?"

"Geesh you're sprouting like a weed!"

"Are you crying England?"

"I love you!"

"I love you too you brat." 'Though you don't love me in the way that I wish you could…'

"You used to be so big..."

England immediately began sobbing into America's chest when he remembered that last one.... "W..when did I become so fucking small? W..when did I become so insignificant and blind?"

America wrapped his arms around England tighter. "You're n-not small Arthur, I just grew up. And you are in no way insignificant to me Arthur, and what could you possibly be blind about? Arthur.. I know things were bad between us for along time..... and that at times we still tend to argue, but..... but that is in the past now. I... really care about you." He said trying his best to reassure the smaller nation in his arms. He then lifted Arthur's face up so he was looking at him. "I--I lo-love you Arthur." He confessed, so low it was almost not audible, then looked away blushing insanely.

England looked up with wide eyes, eyes the color of the English country side as he had often been told, that were filled with tears that threatened to slide down at any moment. "No America." He uttered softly. "I'm just a horrible brother."

"Seychelles, Ireland, Hong Kong, Canada, Nigeria, Malaysia, India... you..." He choked. "I had so many colonies...so many children that all hated me in the end. I did things wrong, I screwed up, I changed but it was too late. It was bloody too late. And the same children who loved me left without a second glance." The tears fell down, each making their separate 'splash' on the floor.

"All the time, I hear our bosses talk about our 'special relationship', but Americ...Alfred...what makes you different from all those others? What makes you different from all those countries that also ran away from me? I...please...I want to know..."

Alfred was shocked at Arthur's sudden outburst. 'I never, I never knew that he felt this way about it....' He thought sadly as he looked at his former protector.

"Arthur... Listen to me carefully, you were a great leader of your colonies, and yes you made mistakes, but, but everything on this earth makes them occasionally, humans, animals, even nations like us, not anyone or anything is perfect Arthur." Alfred placed a hand on the side of Arthur's face and wiped away a tear. "You really want to know the reason I am different then the others?"

"It's because they all look up to you as a big brother. Some even see you as a father, but....I never saw you like that Arthur, when I was first discovered and saw you cry, I chose to stay with you, because I knew I wanted to try to stop you from crying like that again. As I grew older I realized that it was because I was supposed to grow up and protect you. That's why, that's why I decided to become my OWN country, I wanted to be able to stand on my own and grow, and one day be able to protect you, to be YOUR hero." Alfred told him, he himself also crying again, then lowered his hand to Arthur's chin and lifted the face of the powerful United Kingdom upward, lowering his own and captured Arthur's lips in a quick kiss once again.

Arthur stood there in a suspended sense of awe, eyes feeling hot as Alfred spoke. He wiped Alfred's tears away unconsciously, and time seemed to go back to a time where a taller Arthur smiled softly as he brushed away a sobbing Alfred's tears.

"It's alright to cry you know. If someone cries you know how deeply they feel, and if a hero was ignorant to others feelings and his own he wouldn't be much of a hero."

He had hugged Alfred then and he did so now, pressing his lips softly to the younger nation's, feeling the wetness of his own cheeks, like the rain that had fallen on that day.

But perhaps in this moment of bittersweet happiness the regret that hung over that day, the regret that had always plagued England's mind was beginning to fade. All he could think of was Alfred's vibrant taste, something he couldn't quite name except for the fact it was 'Alfred'. And when he pulled away, flustered and panting, England stood on his tippy toes to at least be par with the American's height. "I...l...love you." He whispered beneath his breath. "Alfred..."